Open Windows

I wrote this post a while ago. Probably about four months or so ago. I have no idea really which post I was talking about in the beginning of it. I backdated it and could only come up with a half paragraph ditty on my kid’s dad and my ex-boyfriend out assholing each other.

Anyway – I wasn’t brave enough to post it. Until my friend Neal posted a similar-ish post this morning. Maybe he just reminded me that it counts. And it counts a lot.

It’s an old post of course so PLEASE keep that in mind. The subject was a little more sensitive at the time and a slight vulnerability shines through – one that is not so prominent at present. The bitterness has kind of faded into a dull amusement. And I’m actually quite grateful to my ex for being a deserting asshole so that resentment doesn’t exist anymore. And the “boyfriend” stopped existing about seventeen seconds after that conversation. Well…at least until I actually thought about it. Granted it took forever to actually break up with the guy after that but that’s a whole other long and boring issue! (Quite possibly you can read all about it in the early June posts). The parts about the church are pretty relevant though. And grow more so daily. The perfect thing about faith is that it can be so all-consuming and life-altering. When it is real it can cloak you in fearlessness. And that is where happiness resides. On the other side of fear… more »

My grandfather would have hated Facebook. I think for the most part he always regarded my sister and I as too worldly and I think perhaps he might have considered our personalities to be rather unbecoming of decent women. We spoke our minds too much. We got a few piercings and tattoos. We wore shirts that didn’t cover our bums and skirts that didn’t cover our ankles.  And I always found it rather sad because I think he missed out on a lot of joy with the two of us by simply being closed off to the idea that the freedom to be an individual might just be ok. Now immediately I know that the thought of emo-goths and over-tattooed rockstars might come to mind here – but it is certainly not like that at all. My sis had one tattoo at the time that he died, and a tongue piercing. I had a nose ring (and a belly piercing which I’m sure he never knew about). Neither of us touched cigarettes or alcohol (at the time…I do indulge in a bit of wine these days…) we were always pleasant and polite and we both love our family very much – in fact I go so far as to say that my sister and i are possibly the most family oriented members of the entire Larter clan – and yet still we were regarded as adolescent children with a constant school suspension rebellious streak. We were good kids. We ARE good kids. My sister is a minister for Pete’s sake! And yet, often when speaking of anything with passion, or even sometimes when stating a slightly controversial opinion, there was an unmistakable air of disapproval that followed such debatable revelations. We have our “ways”. And our convictions.  And we’re sticking to them. more »

For a while now I have been mildly obsessing about my 100th blog post. It should be a big deal right? A geekish milestone no doubt but a milestone none-the-less.

Anyway – the point is that the pressure I have put on myself to produce a fantastic 100th post has been a bit much. And so I have decided rather to talk about giant cups of tea while in the process of consuming a giant cup of tea. I reckon this is a realtively un-itimidating subject and besides, who doesn’t like giant cups of tea, right?

Unless they’re abnormally giant. That would just be wrong.

You know I was a really normal kid. We never did anything weird that I can think of. I mean, yeah, sometimes we’d go to the grave yard in the middle of the night, and sometimes we would throw stones on people’s rooves, or knock on their doors and run away. And sometimes we would freak people out by pointing lazers at them in the dark, or run away suspisciously when we saw a cop van (why we did this is another question all together) but we never did anything REALLY weird. more »

New Years Resolutions never work. Not normally at least. Well. Once I made a New Year’s resolution to stop watching soapies and I have stuck to that one for about five or six years now. But that was an easy one since soapies rot your brain and are pretty easy to get over once you realise that it’s more fun to have a life. That’s not the point though. The point is that new years resolutions never really work. So I thought I’d give making Spring Resolutions a try instead. It makes more sense anyway. What better time could there be to work on life improvements than spring time? It is, after all, my absolute favourite time of year…. more »

Being a manic lover of communication in all of it’s various forms I have always known that I have a bit of an internet addiction problem. It’s one of those things that has kind of come and gone many times over the years. It started with email. Then an addiction to Yahoo chat rooms. Then IRC. Then Facebook. And now? Twitter!

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I think my folks are sick of me. Now really – if they are – I can’t blame them. I’ve been eating their food and chowing all their bandwidth for a whopping eight months now. If there’s a black sheep in the family (which of COURSE they will never admit to) it is most definitely me. I’m okay with it of course, but it no doubt gives them endless nights of worry. more »

My posts seem to be centering around friendship a lot lately. I have awesome friends – and these people I would do anything for. I know they feel the same way towards me. (If only I could get my romantic relationships to work this way!!) But there’s a friend-dynamic that has been REALLY bugging me lately. Is it ok to throw your ex’s friends away? more »

I’ve had writer’s block for a month. Now, you must first of all understand that writer’s block and blogger’s block are two completely different things. I never get blogger’s block (although I do admit to suffering periodically from blogger’s laziness). The blogging is easy. Probably because my mind is always racing at a million miles a minute with all sorts of questions and their various possible answers or solutions. All I ever really have to do is stop and pick one. Easy peasy. No block there. I have too many opinions to get bloggers block. For now at least. But writer’s block? That’s completely different. There’s nothing worse than looking at a huge body of work and writing it off as irredeemable rubbish. It’s deathening. more »