Open Windows

I was in the car listening to the radio the other day on one of my many trips to and from the boyfriend’s house during the evil house moving phase and Grant Nash was going on about how Multichoice is thinking of bringing in a pay-per-view porn option for DStv. Now I seldom pay any attention to Grant Nash because he’s way too surfer dude on hash to engage my cerebral cortex in any way but I do remember thinking something along the line of oh it’s about time they did the whole pay-per-view thing here. And then I spent a few minutes wondering if perhaps they already do do it here and I just missed the memo… more »

Well I have spent the last two weeks going out of my mind. Moving. God I’m sure it’s the bane of any home-dweller’s existence – THE MOVE. Why oh why do we do this to ourselves? When I moved in with my momma at the end of 2008 (the third time I moved that year!) I swore to all the gods that I would never do it again. Ever. And yet here I am. Again. Living between boxes.

But this is not the part that disturbs me in any way. This is a normal thing to have psycho nervous breakdowns about. (Luckily my wonderful man was there to pick up the pieces when I keeled over last week!)

I packed up my boyfriend’s entire house. He was away – so who else was gonna do it -right?

Anyway this can be quite a nerve wracking experience. So many things to make you raise an eyebrow – from cabinets full of bizarre female medications (ok so those weren’t his) to some weird kitchen gadgets. Luckily I found nothing too bizarre. Nothing quite so stressful as going through cupboard after cupboard wondering if this will be the one that all the worms fall out of.

Thankfully I found nothing too dodgy – or so I thought. I found no porn – not even anything mild. I found no vagina-shaped vibrating gadgets. Or stashes of drugs.. Or anything worthy of running a mile… What I did find though were bags and bags and bags full of…black garbage bags (not orange ones…). Ok. That’s fine. and then…boxes and boxes of latex gloves. Erm…no comment. And then I found boxes and boxes of matches.

So…

garbage bags

latex gloves

matches

Really….am I dating a serial killer?